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Fashion,  Life

Stop Comparing Yourself on Social Media

At the end of 2019, while procrastinating at filling out my BUJO, I decided to waste some time on ye old Instagram. As I tapped my way through a minimum of 50 slides per person and wondering how long it would take me to actually look at every person’s story without swiping left (a week, maybe?), I decided I wanted to do the annoying thing and make all of my friends view my century long story too! What I didn’t realize was how beneficial that process would be for me.

You see, I end every year feeling like I didn’t accomplish much. I generally don’t do resolutions, but I have some sort of mental bar in my head that I expect to hit. It’s a made-up number in the clouds that’s probably unattainable and I never really know what it is, so achieving it is impossible. Anyway, 2018 was coming to an end and I was feeling like I didn’t live life to it’s fullest. I didn’t accomplish anything. I didn’t travel enough. Ugh, I’m still chubby. You know, the usual. As I started to scroll through the images on my phone throughout the year and post all the things I’d done and thought were worth mentioning, I realized I did a ton this year. I checked a bunch of New York things off my bucket list, experienced two fashion weeks, spent Valentine’s Day in Philadelphia, my birthday in Providence, had a ton of adventures and delicious meals with new friends, went back to Denver three times, had an Estes Park adventure I’ll never forget with my mom, had my first major published editorial in L’Officiel, shot a ton of celebrity work for Jute and had a hell of year (and closed it at the end of the year, which is a decision I am still very happy about), spent my anniversary with Dave in Charleston and had literally the most perfect vacation, went to London with Dave for a business trip, spent a glorious 4th of July with new friends in the Hamptons, a weekend in the Catskills in a tiny home, went on another adventure in Mexico, had basically an entire month of Halloween extravaganza and ended the year right back where I started in NYC on the couch with the love of my life. Guys, I did a ton of shit this year. Yet, here I was scrolling through my Instagram feed feeling like I needed to do more. Like it wasn’t enough. Buy why? Ugh. Social media is why! I got caught up in the unrealistic world that is the internet: looking at fashion and travel bloggers and what their years entailed like that was supposed to be my year too. Bitch, you need to wake up and smell the coffee because you are one privileged mother fucker. Jesus, I am so, so, so lucky to live the life I lead. I mean, I still want to be traveling basically all the time and having adventures and I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to do more, but I do need to give myself a break and pat myself on the back because I did some shit this year. I need to remember to let myself breath and reflect and not compare myself to others on social media. It’s so unhealthy.

This year, I want to keep pushing myself to have new experiences, but I want to revel in them a bit: let them brew and linger and remind me that I am doing a good job. I’ve been thinking about this nonstop this week and trying to figure out how to battle this problem and I came up with five reminders for myself.

  1. People only show the best version of themselves on social media. No one’s life is perfect.
  2. Stop looking at social media so fucking much! I started counting one day how many times I checked Instagram and Facebook in one day and the number was alarming before I even made it half way through the day. Starting today, I’m doing no phone in the bedroom and I think I might start putting my phone out of reach while I’m working at my desk or sitting on the couch. Anytime I’m doing something sedentary the phone needs to be out of sight and out of mind.
  3. When I’m making these comparisons, ask myself why I’m making them. What is it in me that feels less than when seeing this? Why do I feel this way?
  4. Remind myself why I’m using Instagram. I don’t tend to have these same feelings on Facebook and that’s because the platform has become a place for friends for me. I don’t accept friend

requests from people I don’t know, so anyone I’m interacting with I know personally. However, Instagram is different, and both of my Instagram accounts are business accounts. So, I need to treat it more like a business. I’m never going to stop perusing my feed and I need to post on my story for business purposes, but I think remembering that this platform is a business tool will help ground me.

  1. Keep reminding myself how grateful I am for this life.

The theme for 2019, for myself, has been self-love and growth. It’s the year of the Lynzi. It’s all about me and how I make myself happy and figuring out this social media bomb feels important.

I know we all get into this cycle with social media. What do you do to keep away the Instagram blues? Give me your tips! You can also see my measurable list of 2019 goals in my New Years resolutions blog post!


outfit details

sunglasses: 60s vintage – an alternate option

earrings: ASOS – no longer available, but here’s something smaller, but similar at COS

sweater: ASOS <– literally the most comfortable!

pants: Collusion – currently on sale

shoes: Adidas purchased at DSW


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  • Frances

    Whenever I feel the comparison bug itching I immediately put my phone down and think about a time I didn’t document happening (like the time my husband and I spent laughing with each other after the kids were asleep, or the time my mom sand and my dad played guitar while I was eating breakfast) and relive the joy from that moment. Some days it’s a little harder than others to think of those moments but it cures the blues almost immediately.

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