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Fashion,  Life

Don’t Be a Troll

I’m going to start by summarizing for those ass holes out there that can’t read more than a sentence. There’s always going to be trolls raining on your parade. Bring a fucking umbrella.

I always forget an umbrella. Why is that? Can you imagine masochistic dick wads falling from the sky literally on your skull with nothing to protect you? Fuck the umbrella, I need a god damn helmet!

I’m feeling…irked today. Irritated. Positively provoked. You see, I dared to post a picture on my Instagram holding a breast. It ignited a beacon for the men of the internet to flock and bring forth gifts of unsolicited suggestions. “Why do you look so sad holding your tit?” “You’re beautiful, don’t be common.” “Noooo.” “You’d be more beautiful if you didn’t take pictures like this.” Then there’s the sexy comments and a flood in my inbox of “hey” and “hi” and “send me pics” and even long diatribes about themselves like they’re filming for an 80s dating app. One picture sparked all sorts of feculence. Meanwhile, most of the women are saying “queen”, “the female body is beautiful” and “you’re amazing”. Not all though! These rules go for EVERYONE. I’ve been deleting a lot more than keeping regarding comments on this one. Ugh.

It’s fucked because it feels like having a discussion about the dichotomy between the sexes and how they react to imagery like this is white noise. However, I reminded myself that every time a woman addresses this topic and shouts it from a mountain (or a blog) a male loses his ego and snaps into place. If talking about this shit makes literally a single fella think twice before they open their mouth or start typing some inappropriate or heinous commentary, then I will count that as a win.

Here is the lesson I want to impart: commentary on women’s bodies is only allowed to be positive, encouraging, uplifting, etc. You can say “wow, you look amazing” not “that’s sexy I want to cum on that tit.” Capiche? Society has done fucked up our self-images for so long and in 2019 your only responses in these situations are to be supportive.

What if you genuinely like a woman you’ve seen on the internet or in public and want to speak with her? Well, be respectful. Send her a message or calmly approach her and if she’s wearing headphones just fuck off because there are soooo many fish in the sea and I guarantee you interrupting her when she pointedly chose to NOT interact with people will put you in a no fly zone permanently. Look, commenting degrading compliments to a woman serves no legitimate purpose and even if it’s just for you, then find a way to get your kicks without making another human being uncomfortable. And if you’re trolling, then just stop. I read that 28% of people have admitted to being internet trolls and that’s some astounding knowledge. It makes me scan my friends list and wonder who needs to get the fuck out meow.

Sorry, lovelies. I had to eviscerate that bit of fury before I exploded and who better to toss my complaints to than all my fabulous friends out there? I invite you to get something off your chest in the comments. Men are welcome, too, as long as they don’t suck.

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  • Darcy

    I love this. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with asshats.

    Just the other day I was honked at. In my driveway. In BFE. And I was hauling trashcans while my husband was in the car. This hasn’t happened since I lived in CO. That shit is stupid. So stupid. Just. Don’t. It’s terrifying enough being female…

    • Lynzi Judish

      Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault. 🙂 It really is the worst though. I wish I could make the majority of men understand what it feels like. Sadly, there was even one woman who commenting something judgmental, which almost gets me more fired up.

      • Darcy

        Oh man… that is almost as bad! Frankly, I love that you’re busting boundaries. Like, why are men’s nipples any different than mine? They both can lactate. They both can be erogenous… my boobs enjoy not being confined, thanks!

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